5 reasons why Good Coffee = Good business

Thursday, 17 August, 2017
5 reasons why Good Coffee = Good business.
(Take this article to your boss immediately!)

Everyone has horror stories about their first jobs. The apprentice who stands knee deep in sh*t for the first 6 weeks of his plumbing apprenticeship, the junior doctor who on their first weekend of community service ends up running an entire rural hospital’s casualty ward with only one nurse or the junior attorney, graduating with a 90% summa cum laude who ends up in dock review for a year, fighting monsters in the basement of the firms bowels before seeing sunlight. What do they have in common? Well, everyone has to start somewhere, even if you’re a Millennial destined for greatness by writing a blog, then you know that starting at the bottom and working hard is the only way to the top, using every coping mechanism one can to survive. Enter Coffee.

Here are 5 reasons why good coffee is essential for career survival and ultimately, good business!

1. It’s social

My first job actually wasn’t that bad. I started as junior advertising executive working at a cool little media firm back in 2005, where my boss absolutely loved coffee. So he personally made a pot of freshly ground filter coffee and he served it in the foyer to the first employees that arrived at work. Our official hours were from 8.30am, but he arrived at 7.30am to make and serve the coffee himself, and very soon, there was a cool little pre-work buzz from 8am-8.30 where people from all levels in the company could hang out, chat over a cup, get the day humming and by 8.30, everyone was there, the day always started with a bang after that!

2. Coffee is a great leveller and helps with problem solving.
One of the great things about coffee is not just the coffee itself. It’s getting up from your desk, while figuring out how to bring back the stranded astronauts from space, and walking over to the coffee machine…sharing the problem with the guy from accounts (who is a part time astro-physicist) and the guy from R&D who has secretly been testing some thermal radiation suits – and BAM! Because of coffee – the astronauts are safe again.

3. Coffee makes you more productive.

Ah, this is the best one. In fact when you go to your boss, start with this. Coffee is like legal cocaine. It blocks the receptors in your brain that trigger you feel tired, with those receptors blocked, the brain's own stimulants, dopamine and glutamate, can do their work more freely. In the book Buzz: The Science and Lore of Alcohol and Caffeine, by Stephen R. Braun, he ultimately likens caffeine's powers to "putting a block of wood under one of the brain's primary brake pedals", which is all a fancy way of saying: YOU FEEL INVINCIBLE! And that’s always good for business.

4. Investing in good coffee shows your company values you!

Just look at Google. Those guys have it down. Their work knows that a space that makes their employees happy equals happy employees. And employees with good coffee are happy employees. You don’t need the reptile petting zoo, or the rock climbing wall or the Zorbing room as much as good coffee. Ok, maybe the Zorbing room. But first, good coffee.

5. The Company with the best Coffee gets the Clients.
You know what they say in business school about the 80Twenty principle…80% of your business comes from 20% of your customers. If Clients like coming to your office, because coffee, then you get more facetime than the competition, and you pick up all the inside info on the next big deal, the work in the pipeline, the jobs on the table, the Gooses next big fat egg. Give them a reason to visit, and often. Blow their socks off with hospitality that makes them drop in, even when they don’t need to, just because they want a great cup of the good stuff.

You’re Welcome. Now go out there and change the world.

These are the kinds of coffee solutions we recommend depending on where you work:

You work at the Playboy Mansion of businesses – Using the above fail-proof logic, convince your Boss to invest in a beautiful coffee machine, with some skillful baristas and a supply of artisanally roasted beans from the neighbourhood roastery. Then offer to project manage the installation and contact your local roastery for the hook-up.

You work at the Hip Start Up but you’re small and growing
– catch your boss on a good day, like after his skydiving or shark-cage diving day and pitch him on the fool-proof, super-duper, fully-automatic coffee solution, where one touch of a button brings, rainbows, unicorns and unlimited employee loyalty. Again, offer to take point on the project and take all the credit for being the rockstar who saved the company from bad coffee.

You work in the following: A Van, A cubicle the size of a hamster cage, or a public Office OR… your boss is a bit of a doos. Either way. You’re not gonna get any help on this from the powers that be, so you need to take matters into your own hands. Solution: If you need espresso, then a Handpresso or Minipreso and a good automatic milk frother, like the Severin one. If you’re into delicious black coffee, then a handgrinder and any of the manual brewing methods. You could even one-up the company and use their own kettle as a f*ck-you, while you sit on the fire escape and enjoy speciality grade coffee while your boss sucks the dregs of his murky Ricoffy.

Keep everyone in your office that special stock-photography kind of happy by making the coffee amazing.

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